last updated 11 Dec 2002
Extreme Walkie TalkieOn 10th December 2002, UK TV's Channel 4 showed a program about something I'd previously seen on the internet at some point in the past... Extreme Ironing! (see http://www.extremeironing.com and http://www.extremeironing.info ). Having had a little to drink, I laughed heartily and was inspired to wonder if there was any way we could bring glory and ridicule to the world of walkie talkies. Here are my ideas for Extreme Walkie Talkie!
Distance category : How far can you get? This isn't amusing, and
won't interest most folk,
but it is the kind of thing radio enthusiasts have always done. There are already distance
records being claimed. See the Technical page on this site, for example.
Danger category : Using a radio in extreme conditions. This is more
like it, something to appeal to the rugged outdoor competitive type. It's just not funny though.
Walkie talkies are known to be useful outdoors, mountain biking and rock climbing etc., and are
marketed as such. There is nothing amusing about using a radio the way it was intended.
It needs something to spice up the photographic evidence, from mild face pulling,
through mooning to perhaps full fancy dress. Using 446 on the top of a mountain dressed as Widow
Twanky will impress me.
Geek category : Who can collect the most models of FRS/446 etc.? In each
available colour? Bonus Geektime Achievement award for maintaining a website as sad as this one.
Exotic category : Plenty of scope here. Who can get photographed in the
most distant lands, or on the Wonders of the World (pyramids, Taj Mahal etc) with their walkie talkie?
Using 446 in China right in front of a policeman may also qualify for the Danger category.
XXX category : There are websites where
garden furniture is arranged
porno style, or
plastic toy figures
etc. (see http://smacbroon.com/ukhumour/sex.htm
Usually fairly amusing. Perhaps you could dress up your
radios in skin tight fetishware and pose them in a dungeon setting. Or maybe you want to use your
radio as a 'toy' (see
). Heck, some of them do feature a vibrate alert after all.
Bizarre category : Operating a walkie talkie in a manner likely
to annoy or offend. This is the category that had me giggling last night and inspired this page
(I blame the drink). Extreme ironing takes an indoor activity outdoors, but two-way radio belongs everywhere.
We need to take radio where it shouldn't be.
Like in an audience. Or in a court of law, under oath. Perhaps you could take your loved one out
for a romantic meal and talk on your radio occasionally throughout the evening. Or propose marriage over
the air, or chat to a mate inside the church during the wedding ceremony (or a funeral for even more
credit). Obviously the pinnacle of
Extreme Walkie Talkie would be to break Very Bad News to someone over the air. Or take a
radio along when you identify a body. Outrageous? We have to be these days just to raise a laff!
If you come up with something impressive or amusing, shove it on a website and let us know. We'll link to them in order of merit. Go Extreme Walkie Talkie!
This lame-assed poorly executed wasted opportunity was brought to you via Euro446. I should have actually done some Extreme Walkie Talkie and put the pictures here, and made it worth the visit. But I didn't. Besides, I haven't got the bandwidth available on this site. Bah. Over to you - you can get the glory!